Not all Blood Bowl tournaments are NAF ranked, either because the ruleset is too out of the ordinary, or, as in this case, because it is not open to the public. The UKBBL is a league on the Cyanide version of the game whose coaches gather twice a year in Nottingham to meet face-to-face and, of course, play some Blood Bowl! Ugnash has written it up, so read on…
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Hi bloodbowl fans – this is Troy Cakeman with a special report from Skryre Sports covering this last weekend and the awesome bloodbowling event that was UKBBL TT 7!
And wow, this was a biggee! With 40 of the most famous (and infamous) coaches from across the Auld World in attendance it was officially the largest of the seven tournaments thus staged and so it was only appropriate that bloodbowl’s foremost cabalvision franchise should be there to provide coverage.
As before, they gathered together from all points of the compass, converging on a rather pointless place deep in the East Middenlands; there were many old(-er) faces and as usual some TT rookies looking to upset the bloodweiser cart and make a name for themselves.
Last time’s champion (AndyDavo who had seduced a bunch of willing young amazons to make him look good) was present to defend his title despite many rumours that he’d quit the sport for good in the wake of the ‘Calfenlelle Incident’. We shall say more on this matter due to a court injunction being served on Skryre from Andy’s lawyers Messrs Davo, Davo & Davo! However due to some controversy (a jealous Calfenlelle killing all of them) the amazons weren’t back this time and instead The Davo turned up with a variety of bones tied together with some bandages and mumbling something about ‘mighty blow spam’ (which perhaps is a delicacy in his part of the world)!
But The Davo wasn’t the only one resorting to khemri rosters with two other coaches doing likewise each with their own thoughts on what constituted good tactics for such a troublesome race and likewise there were three ogre sides in the mix with Brick’n’Grotty much in demand there. However it has to be said that there was still a strong orc presence despite there being some restrictions placed on the race by the TT admins and they were the most numerous at 6 with the glorious skaven second in the list with no less than 5 squads vying to bring glory back to Skavenblight (‘cus Nuffle knows, The Brood ain’t gonna do so)! However, on this occasion Skryre Sports, as part of their usual agreement for cabalvision coverage, had decided to go with the green flow and put their warptokens behind Dem Krookid Vulchas – bolstering an already solid looking orc mob with the frankly insane services of Ugroth Bolgrot and Bomber Dribblesnot!
Could this make the difference? Well there would be a stern test right from the start as they started on pitch facing an all-orc derby against Coach Duddy’s elegantly named greenskins; Da Bone Crushas…
Day 1 – Round 1:
The first day started – as it always does – with the attendant c oaches all fresh-faced, eager and filled with (mostly) unreasonable expectations of glory. As usual, the Priests of Nuffle gave their blessing to proceedings from atop their dice-shaped altar and then proclaimed TT7 open…
So with the ceremonial crap out of the way it was game on…
Whereas in previous times each coach has been purely out for themselves looking for individual glory or to stab any number of their peers in the back if the opportunity presented itself (i.e. reverting to type), this year the organisers had seen fit to try to corral this band of socially-inept creatures into eleven teams. Whether this would work long-term was yet to be seen but it was comforting to see each trio of coaches immediately start to pummel each other purely for the ‘glory’ of being team-captain.
Ahhh, it warms the heart to see such base individuals come together in an effort of co-operation!
Even so, there were those coaches that still shunned such practices, Skryre’s own Ugnash being one, AndyDavo and his Ego being another (though it was cited that Andy and his Ego technically made up a team all on its own)!
So, unimpeded by such ‘team’ concerns, Dem Krookid Vulchas got their tournament underway by facing off against their fellow orcs and proceeded to dominate the first half. In the opening minutes they’d not only broken Da Crusha’s cage but injured the ball carrying-thrower and then, for good measure, injured one their black orcs too!
Over-powered by their opponents, Da Crushas couldn’t prevent DKV’s first half Td and then after the second half got under way with a hail of racks from either sides’ fans (taking out a gobbo and Ugroth Bolgrot) there was more of the same. One scrappy drive later, DKV’s thrower Rancid Keeneye had scored earning his side a very welcome 2-0 opening victory.
Tactics? Wot tactics? An orc-on-orc brawl from the Vulchas’ opener.
Elsewhere, Andy’s ‘boners’ got off to a poor start as they went down 3-1 to Devious’s wood elves coached by none other than superstar Eldril Sidewinder – and that was despite his tomb guardians helping to give him a significant edge when it came to inflicting injuries. However, without doubt the best win of the opening round went to Lewi Jones’ wood elves who in the all-elf contest ran rampant against Crimson’s pro elves winning it 6-1! A win that would see Lewi’s Silvander Green Leafs leap to the top of the tournament table.
Barmi’s high elves – Posh and Proud of It – weren’t far behind though. They grabbed a pass-crazy 4-3 win over Stewie’s Quornettes in another all-elf match-up.
In other matches, Fantus kept the Norfolk banner flying with his own khemri outfit as he grabbed a very impressive 3-0 win over Shaeffer’s Ogres and Cerumol’s own khemri side (Masali Sands) also won 2-0 over Jimbo’s orcs. Marvin and his gobbos claimed one of the other impressive opening day scalps as they took on and beat Bulldog’s human side in a bad tempered game that ended 3-0 in favour of the goblinoids and in a skaven-dark elf tie naturally alexelliot’s children of the Horned God edged a 3-2 thriller over Rodz aju’s druchii. Coach Tapestry, meanwhile, had returned to the Pond to recruit a new batch of lizzies and together they were able to grind down poor old Verbal and his ratmen simply – not that Verbal minded as he was mullered on fungus brew before half-time! Other than that, there were opening round wins for Evilsquall, Doug with his Khorne side, MattOrc (playing – naturally – er, Chaos Pact), Phoenix, Waldorf, Antosh, Darkstalker and Conflict and draws between the rest though special mention should go to Wrighty and Disco who in a slow-paced dwarf-orc bash couldn’t manage a single touchdown between them!
Round 2:
Along the way, there had been feasting on pig flesh (some of it cooked some of it raw depending on the coach’s preferences) so there was no need to halt proceedings before barrelling straight into Round 2…
For the Vulchas this saw them pitched up against a veteran coach in what was a tie that required huge amounts of stamina and willpower simply to see the game through to the end… for in the upper reaches of the table they had drawn none other than Coach Tapestry and his implacable, cold-blooded lizards!
To make matters worse, the rain began to teem down from the outset.
The weather was the reason behind DKV winning the coin toss and choosing to kick-off and it paid off initially allowing them to go toe-to-toe with their opponents and for Bomber Dribblesnot to show what he was capable off – first lobbing a bomb into the midst of a saurus pack and then later preventing a certain skink Td with another admittedly less-accurate but still effective throw. Silibili was injured during all of this and by half-time the orcs were looking the stronger as they held out at 0-0.
However, that good fortunate soon vanished in the second half. Despite being a player up for the re-start, the orcs managed to find themselves overpowered and lost possession twice before the ball bounced kindly for a skink to grab and race off to score just as the final whistle was blowing.
We’re swinging in the rain… just swinging in the rain – Tap’s lizzies take on the Vulchas in a downpour.
So disappointment for Ug and his greenskins and across the other pitches the other orc sides were also struggling to find a winning formula. Like DKV, Disco’s Crimson Choppa’s went down to a solitary Td from the jam-encrusted hands of BrotherKane’s halflings (which of course made me immensely proud and all the moreso for the only touchdown of the game to be scored by a treeman, no less!) and the rest all drew (Duddy against Bob’s Pact squad, Fatboy’s Fuckerz against Thyrus ratmen in a bottom pitch encounter, Jimbo’s Academicals against coreboar’s slann and Gav forcing home a 2-2 draw in a lively encounter with Verbal’s skaven outfit).
On the top pitch, the early leaders were battling it out but there was to be no glut of touchdowns for Lewi’s Green Leafs this time. They did manage to score twice but were beaten by a hat-trick of touchdowns from Barmi’s immaculately attired high elves in the end.
Below these came Fantus and Marvin with the latter running out 3-1 winners as his gobbos continued to perform miracles and quickly became a tournament favourite. Then, in the pouring rain, Doug’s frenzied, blood-obsessed fanatics – featuring their very own Mr Flappy – took on and beat Phoenix’s skaven but the one to watch was on the next pitch down as Cerumol’s khemri battled their way to another solid victory (over Waldorf’s slann) and again did so without conceding a single Td!
Beyond those, Conflict’s well-known freakshow – The Undead Clown Posse – were proving that they were no laughing matter as they beat Devious’s woodies comfortably 2-0 but alexelliott kept the skaven spirits up by beating Matt’s Chaos Jesters by the same score. In the round’s biggest win, Antosh’s Undead also prevailed as they hammered four past Darkstalker’s Stirland Reavers causing a number of casualties to further underline their command in that game.
One of the TT’s unsung heroes was battling it out around mid-table and that was King Doom. In a dramatic change, KD had chosen to forsake his passing chaots for high elves who hardly ever passed (no one can ever accuse King Doom of kow-towing to conventional strategies I’ll say that). However, such unfashionable thinking tends not to help Coach Doom very much as was the case here as he went down 2-0 to EvilSquall’s dwarfs in game that was very one-sided in terms of score and injuries!
Below these and into the lower half of the table, Llanddien’s Apecity Silverbacks got upto some monkey-business as they edged past Cornish’s ogres, 2-1, and Stewie’s wood elves had the misfortune of coming up against Wrighty’s dwarfs in a classic elf-dwarf encounter that ended with a less-than-classic 1-1 scoreline. Rod’s dark elves got a battling win again st Charlie’s foul-obsessed ogres and Bulldog did his chances no harm with a win over Alessus in the all-human clash.
That left just two other games both of which ended 1-1. Crimson’s Pro Elves rallied from that awful opener to draw with Shaeffer ogres and Davo’s khemri actually managed hold off the skaven to grab his first point of the tournament.
Top pitch elfy bullshit between The Posh and the Green Leafs.
Round 3:
For Dem Krookid Vulchas, round 3 was where the tournament began to take on a distinctly elven aspect. Their win and a loss had left them around mid-table where they were drawn against Coach Devious and his devious wood elves!
For most of the match it felt like t he or cs were chasing shadows. Bomber did his best and managed to disrupt the elves’ first drive as the elves blitzed from the outset but in the end there could be no denying them and a wardancer put Eldril’s Dozen in the lead. Fortunately, the orcs managed (with a good dose of Nuffle’s Blessing) to strike back before half-time, piling their way down the left wing until another wardancer managed to dance his way through the lines to steal the ball from Rancid. The orcs responded quickly and surfed the wood elf and then blitzer Doggruf gratefully gathered the resulting throw-in to run it home just on the stroke of half-time.
In the second half though, it was more of the same with the orcs finding it impossible to really get to grips with their elusive opponents who did enough to score late on to leave DKV staring at a second consecutive defeat.
But then the orc strategy changed dramatically and they seemed to come to the conclusion that if you can’t beat them, join them! The last re-start of the game saw another elf blitz as both wardancers streaked down the field, one targeting the ball the other the orc’s only thrower. However, somehow, Rancid got away from his marker and managed to gather the ball before unleashing a long pass upfield to where Doggruf was waiting – and incredibly managed to make the catch despite being under pressure from an elf lino!
The blitzer dropped his shoulder and dodged away from his opponent, all-elfy like, and then raced off deep into the wood elf half. One line-elf gave chase but a second fell at the feet of Grimnak Horseater who then raced on to assist Doggruf as the latter blitzed his way past the back-marker and in for a dramatic, last-gasp equaliser.
They didn’t know it at the time but that was to be DKV’s play of the tournament!
Devious’s devious elves dazzle DKV in Round 3.
With the light beginning to fail across the various pitches and the warp-lights flickering into life, the action was hotting up everywhere and none moreso than on the top pitch. Here Barmi’s ultra-permed high elves were taking on a spirited challenge from Goug’s Khorne’s Killer Kardinals. Blood-frenzy versus cool, assured elfy passing saw the latter strategy prevail on this occasion as the high elves preened their way to the 2-0 win they had so arrogantly assured everyone they would get ahead of time!
Down at the bottom pitch, Alessus had taken up residence and a 2-0 loss to Charlie’s Dumbasses… though the ogres proved not to be so dumb on this occasion as they forced home a 2-0 win to lift them up the table.
Back near the top and on pitch 2 it was business as usual as Masali Sands again won 2-0 this time over Antosh’s Children of Nagash. For the undead side, this would be their high-point but greater things were to beckon for Cerumol’s khemri…
Below this, incredibly on pitch 3, Marvin ’s Gob Stoppers were continuing to amaze one and all. This time it was as they managed to secure a 2-2 draw against the Undead Clown Posse; a result that kept both sides in contention ahead of the next day’s games.
Below this, EvilSquall managed a creditable – if long-winded – 1-0 win over Tapestry, alexelliott’s ratties rallied to a 3-1 win over Llanddien and Rodzaju’s dastardly dark elves showed Fantus’s khemri who was the mast race as they won 2-0. Beyond these, BrotherKane’s Moot Maltesers weathered a storm of violence to draw 1-1 with Lewi’s wood elves whilst Phoenix and his skaven edged past Bulldog’s Rorke’s Drifters 1-0 to also stay up in the top third of the table.
Waldorf and his frogs croaked again as they went down 2-0 to Matt and his chaos worshippers and Wrighty continued to enjoy some rarely glimpsed TT form as he beat Darkstalker’s Reavers 1-0 but the high-scoring match of the round was the one against Stewie’s Quornettes and Shaeffer’s Culpable Homicide ogre outfit. It finished 4-2 to the wood elves as Stewie finally managed to get his players focused and playing like real wood elves should.
Mortikina’s Skabby Kerbkrawlers sneaked another victory by winning 1-0 over Gav’s lacklustre orcs and Cornish’s ogres managed to see off Davo’s khemri with a 1-0 win whilst down in the depths of the table there were wins for Crimson (3-2 over Verbal’s mis-firing and probably highly-intoxicated ratmen), King Doom (3-1 over coreboar’s slann and a big 4-1 win for Thyrus’s skaven over Bob’s Pact side. Besides those, there were two orc derbies in the bo ttom quaerter; Fatboy’s Fuckerz finally getting their green arses into gear to beat fellow orcs Ugsbridge Academicals 2-0 and Duddy’s Bone Crusha’s storming to an impressive 3-0 win over Disco’s blunted Choppas!
Blood and touchdowns on the top pitch!
And so we had reached the end of the first day. The last punches, abuse and (in some cases) dice had been thrown and now the coaches retired to play games of chance and enjoy a range of tilean delicacies served by scantily-clad daemonettes (that should help the recruitment drive for TT8)! In the interests of fair and impartial reporting, I of course had to ensure that I partook of my share (and possibly several other peoples’ as well)!
Eventually though, the lasagne ran out and the bar was drunk dry (by Verbal) and so, in small groups the revellers finally crawled off into the darkness to seek out their respective encampments.
Day 2 – Round 4:
As is too often the case, day two brings with it renewed hope for all those taking part. No matter where they currently were on the table, they all believed that their form would either continue or improve (depending on how Day 1 had gone) going into the final two matches.
For a few, there was the dream of ultimate glory – for others the feared spectre of the Wooden Spoon… but for the majority there was simply the desire to be able to crow over those that ended up beneath them in the final pecking order… thus it always has been in the realms of bloodbowl!
For the Vulchas there was the target of remaining unbeaten and trying to avoid any more elf sides… they would fail at both!
First up on Day 2 for the orcs was a game against Crimson’s pro elves; the aptly named Elf Bullshit. Now these aren’t seen at the TT very often and it is generally held that it takes a genius (albeit a demented one) to get the best out of them… however it does help to a certain degree if their opponents also manage to foul up their opening. Featuring more skulls than in your average thrash metal band’s logo, the Vulchas stumbled on their opening drive and ultimately paid the price as the elves swarmed them, clad as they were in magical armour that turned away all attempts at orc brutality! 1-0 up at the break, the elves then did what they do best on offence and scored again and even though DKV were able to finally mount a credible drive late on Rancid Keeneye fell as he tried to get the ball over the line in the dying seconds.
More Elf Bulls hit for Dem Vulchas… literally.
But of course the real interest lay on the top pitches where there was the pungent stench of expectation. Barmi’s high elves had spent overnight as top dogs but with their next game coming as it did against Cerumol’s khemri complete with iron-cast defence nothing could be taken for granted.
As you would expec t, in the end it was a highly tactical affair with the Posh finally managing to break through Masali Sands’ defence for the first time. The khemri response was to drive back downfield and then stall for all they were worth in the closing stages to see out a 1-1 draw that might well cost both of them the title… or not!
Down at the bottom, Alessus and his Dawn Lancers were holding court. Match 4 saw them pitched up against Jimbo’s Academicals in another classic human-orc match-up. In the end, Jimbo’s greenskins won the contest 2-1 to edge further up the table and away from the Wooden Spoon – the very trophy that seemed to have Disco’s named ready etched on it!
But there were others that could still claim that most u nwanted of cooking implements. AndyDavo and Gav met in an effort to escape the lower reaches and in the end the khemri coach (who was once famously quoted as saying ‘quitting is for the dross coaches’) not only lost 2-1 but did so by conceding! Could this be a memorable achievement for the once-above-average Davo; claiming the Wooden Spoon to go with his other trophies?
Out to deny him that were the likes of coreboar and DiscoStupac. They played out a 2-1 match that handed victory to the Pahaux Pondlife in yet another disaster for the orc sides.
Back at the top and against all expectations Alex’s Stomach Suckers and EvilSquall’s dwarfs somehow colluded to play out a scoreless draw and there was another low-scoring tie between Marvin and Rod (1-1). Conflict’s undead were back to make clowns out of other undead as they beat Antosh’s motley horde of regenerates 2-1, Tapestry carved out another solid win by beating Doug and Phoenix and Matt managed to draw 1-1 despite the excitement of a late Juan Turner attempt going sour for Global Warping. Meanwhile, Wrighty was still enjoying his time in the top half of the table as his dwarfs predictably beat the Moot Maltesers – though only by a 2-1 margin – and in the round’s all-wood elf encounter between Stewie’s Quornettes and Lewi’s Green Leafs it was the shy and retiring(!) Stewie that took the points in a 3-2 thriller.
Heading down the pitches, there was more heartache for King Doom’s Regal Doom as they fell to Mortikina’s Kerbkrawlers 2-0 (Doom’s high elves choosing not to wear any armour in this game just in case it got dirty), Llanddien saw off Devious’s cha llenge 2-1 and in yet another all-orc game Duddy’s Crushas lived up to their name and crushed the Fuckerz 2-0.
Special mention at this point must though go to Coach Thyrus who, with little else to play for at this point, had but one wish and that was for his furry team to gain some retribution over staff members of The Stun. Quite what his grudge with that august publication is nobody seems clear on save for the fact that they did run a photo exclusive of Thyrus in bed with a wizard of all things some time ago… and Thyrus being overheard to tell the sorcerer ‘ooh that’s a very magic wand’! Coach Thyrus of course denies the story and continues to rant on about how wizards are the scum of the Earth (but apparently quite good in bed)! Whatever the reason, he put the fear of Nuffle into his verminous players and they duly went out and played their little ratty hearts out for him beating Corni sh’s Cleaveland Brawns 5-1 in the end.
Rumour has it that Coach Thyrus was so happy that he allowed his team one of Mrs Thyrus’s biscuits each – specially laced with warpstone!
There were other wins for Fantus and his Mummy – er sorry, mummies – as they overcame a pummelling performance from Charlie’s foul ogre side winning it 2-1 despite suffering 7 injuries and for Shaeffer’s Homicide squad who beat Bob’s Turnips of Legend 1-0. And that just left the matches between Bulldog’s Drifters and Darkstalker’s Reavers plus the clash between Waldorf’s Hexoatl Horned Frogs and Verbal’s Furballs; both ended in draws – 1-1 and 3-3 respectively.
Cerumol’s khemri make it to the big stage!
Round 5:
And so, after so much violence barely dressed up as sport, this was it; the last round of matches!
For Coach Ugnash this meant coming face-to-face with an old foe in the ungainly shape of King Doom. Ugnash wasn’t fooled by the fresh-faced form Doom now wore for he was an ancient evil and one committed to warping and twisting the rules and strategies of the sport for his own gain… or not as was more usually the case.
Having turned his back on chaos and the ruinous powers, King Doom had turned to the reverence of the Ulthuan God L’Oreal – He of the Silken Tresses – and had spent the weekend prancing around in the latest fashions trying to mimic the high elves he commanded. But beneath all the make-up and the frankly ludicrous wig we all knew the truth; underneath it all beat the heart of a chaos worshipper… so much so that his team played more like a chaos side than his chaos side ever had!!!
The first half was a typically tense affair; the high elves hung back and probed for any weakness in the orc line and in return DKV looked to not over-commit and when the opportunity presented itself sent Grimnak Horseater forward to hunt down the elven thrower… and he nearly managed it save for flooring himself on an ill-advised block just in front of the elven end zone.
That was the only break the Regal Doom needed and they broke through along the right touchline; one long pass later they were nearly in and it took for a phenomenal Td-saving blit z from line-orc Nukklaz to save the day and ultimately leave it 0-0 at the break.
But the damage had been done; the Doom were down a catcher and a blitzer and were truly doomed. Rancid Keeneye returned the kick-off for the opening touchdown and then further pressure in the final quarter of the match resulted in a second greenskin score to confirm their victory.
King Doom was last seen hurrying for the exit and throwing away his wig muttering something about chaos being better than elves!
The Regal Doom are doomed against DKV!
The big game of course was the so’called ‘final’ up on the top pitch and of course this was the one that everyone was watching. Barmi’s own high elves were up against Conflict’s Clowns that was a well-contested game ending in a 2-1 win for the Posse… but a ‘false final’ all the same. The Posse’s fans were celebrating at the end but their joy was premature for elsewhere something was stirring…
On Pitch 2 the Stomach Suckers were putting Tap’s lizzies to the sword; scoring four unanswered touchdowns and out-bashing the coldbloods as well and for a brief while it seemed that the new TT champions may be skaven-born…
But no.
Down on Pitch 3, the Masali Sands were doing what they do best; playing tough defence this time against the time honoured tough defenders; the dwarfs. EvilSquall’s Drunken Stumblers looked like they were overdue for a pint of Bugmans as they went down 2-0 to Cerumol’s desert storm – a victory that once the dust had settled would see Pharoah Cerumol crowned as the new UKBBL TT Champion!
All’s Pharoah in Love and Bloodbowl – Cerumol with the Winner’s Trophy!
Down at the other end of the table things were equally close and any number of teams were still capable of having to take the Wooden Spoon home with them. Verbal’s Furballs fell to a 3-2 defeat at the hands of Charlie’s rampaging ogres (The Dumbasses incredibly inflicting a total of 11 casualties on the whimpering skaven at the end) and again it looked as though this might be enough to hand the title to the pack-coach. There was a tense atmosphere also in the game between Bob’s Legends and Davo’s khemri but a 1-1 draw seemed to save both their hides in the end… though in the case of Davo by the narrowest of margins.
However on the bottom pitch itself – colloquially referred to as the Arse End by now – Alessus’s beleaguered humans were up against Disco’s Choppas. The Dawn Lancers hadn’t won or drawn a single game all weekend and were looking most likely to fail again now only for Alessus to see his team finally come good and shade a close-fought game 2-1. Incredib ly, Alessus and his Lancers had done enough right at the end to avoid the Wooden Spoon… a fate that instead fell to Disco and his red-faced greenskins!
As for the rest there were some coaches that had truly saved the best ‘til last. Foremost of these was Devious whose wood elves out-paced, out-danced and, more importantly, out-scored Gav’s tired-looking Feyenorc Touring XI by the impressively large margin of 7-0! This score di d much to lift Eldril’s Dozen up into the top half to finish a respectable 17th.
Another eye-catching result came from another batch of wood elves as Stewie’s Quornettes romped to a 6-0 victory over BrotherKane’s heroic halflings though with five casualties apiece the Maltesers certainly hadn’t gone down without a fight.
And then there was Thyrus and his Blitzkrieg rats; they did him proud once again as they blitzed past another Stun member, making monkeys out of Llanddien’s Ape City by again winning 5-1… perhaps Thyrus should have rigged the draw to play only Stun members over the w eekend and who knows what might have happened!!!
Of the rest, Marv’s goblins confirmed a well-earned top half finish with a 1-1 draw this time against the nemesis of all gobbo teams; the dwarfs. Nevertheless, Clanlord Wrighty was more than happy that his Queens of the Mountains (a bunch of homicidal, c ross-dressing, beard-wearing she-dwarfs) had also finished in the top half.
Rod’s dark elves finished 5th as they rounded off their campaign with a 2-1 victory over Lewi’s woodies and Mortikina’s skaven ended up in 7th by also winning 2-1 against Crimson’s elves and that was the same score in the game between Matt’s Chaos Pact and Duddy’s orcs with the plaudits going to the Jesters.
Phoenix’s skaven pack got an empahtic 2-0 win over Fantus’s khemri and Doug’s Kardinals picked up another coupld of touchdowns for the touchdown god (though for once were on the wrong side of the bloodshed) as they beat Antosh’s faltering undead 2-0. Darkstalker’s humans fell again as they went down 1-0 to Shaeffer’s ogres, coreboar’s slann saw off another ogre pack in the form of the Cleaveland Brawns 2-1 and Waldorf’s slann also won by the same score over Fatboy’s orcs. All of which left just one other game; the one between Rorke’s Drifters and Jimbo’s Academicals and that ended 3-1 to Bulldog’s human side.
Orc’ish disco queen, DiscoStupac and his Wooden Spoon!
And just like that it was all over!
All that was left was the usual presentation of the trophies but this time there was also the small matter of the team championship as well. As the scores were counted, the coaches tol erated the presence of their peers barely long enough for the now-usual group photograph to be taken and then the announcement was made; by just a single point the team title had gone the way of Team 11… otherwise known as Team Thyrus featuring coaches Thyrus (natch), alexelliott and Duddy! There were a few moment of controversy over this being the last team to enter the tournament but after a fair and impartial, FIFA-style investigation the admins declared everything to be above board and the result stood!
And then they were gone; some left by personal chariot, some by dwarven land-train and others simply by crawling off into the night along with their personal entourages, harems, players and camp-following fans bound for whatever lair or stadium they deemed home.
The coaches of TT7 – rumours that the crime rate reduced dramatically during across the rest of the Auld World during the weekend a re entirely accurate!
As always, no sooner has the dust settled on the coaches’ exit and the stench of their presence has been eradicated by powerful unguents, than there are rumours spreading about an eighth such tournament. Barring widespread war, famine or pestilence – or maybe in spite of such – I think we can be safely assured that this will happen and of course you know what that means! So as always, be sure to keep your seer-globes tuned to Skryre Sports where the action, the cheerleaders and the pies are always the hottest!